if they put me in a big pot of soup i would be fine.
I love lying to kids. It's so fun. My coworker's daughter said she speaks 2 languages and I said I spoke 17,000 and she narrowed her eyes at me and was like "... no you don't" and it was the cutest thing.
The last time I saw her I told her I was a "half-magician" that can only do 50% of a trick, and I showed her how I can tear a piece of paper in two but can't make it come back together, and she got soooo annoyed with me. Absolutely adorable. Lying to children is the best
Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It's the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It's my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps
